Sometimes I just don't understand people. I breathed a heavy sigh the morning this horse-meets-woman landed on my doormat, but my flatmates assured me it was a good song, and worth a listen. I'm here to tell them they're wrong.
I was going to bang on about how 'London Bridge' rips off Missy Elliot, Gwen Stefani's 'Hollaback Girl' and numberous other songs, but since the Peas released 'Pump It' you can never be sure whether it's intentional or not. I'm not sure which would annoy me more to be honest.
Aside from this blatant lack or originality, there's still plenty to hate: moronic lyrics ("Fergie Fergie me love you long time"....WHAT?!) An entire song consisting of one hook, and the twist of the knife, the whinely drawl with which she 'sings'. It may be a petty complaint, but the way in which she pronounces every syllable makes me want to throw up. How she manages to get three Y's in 'bass', I'll never know.
But here's the trifling part: All these criticisms are glaringly obvious to me, yet otherwise intelligent and rational people seem willingly oblivious to them. Do people just want to like such a cowpat of a song? I just don't get it.
I've no doubt this is a grievance I'll be carrrying alone when I'm sitting scowling in the corner at those enjoying such tripe on our next night out. Thanks Fergie, for turning me into an outcast. For more information you can visit: http://fergie.blackeyedpeas.com/
